Black Lives Matter. Sometimes shame can inspire us to DO better, to BE better.

Deep down I believe that all lives matter, which is EXACTLY why, as an American today I MUST join the chorus and emphatically say “Black Lives Matter.” You see, even words that sound as positive as "all lives matter” can be harmful when they’re used to disown our reality and to ignore the disadvantages faced by a portion of our population.

Honestly, I am ashamed that my country, which I love and appreciate and happily call home,  has a dark and tragic history of citizens treating fellow human beings like objects to be shackled, abused, traumatized, and profited from. I use the word ‘history’ lightly. Clearly the dehumanizing treatment of fellow humans, fellow Americans, with darker skin than mine is NOT neatly in our national past as I was taught to believe. 

As Jacob Blake’s father said, we have two lanes for justice in this country- one black and one white, and they are not equal. When I marched in a protest, as a white person I did not fear that the policemen behind me might shoot me in the back. And that is just the tip of the iceberg of white privilege.

Sometimes when we feel the pain of shame, it’s because there is an opportunity before us. An opportunity to step up our game, to up-level our awareness, to co-create systems that align with our values. As a nation, we can DO better, we can BE better. Black Lives Matter.

the Power of Positive Shaming

Shaming can be positive and healthy. Really. No sarcasm here, and no mean spirit.

Think of it this way: What ideals do we hold as SO beautiful, SO vitally important that we as a group would wish to make it shameful for someone who holds a specific role in our group not to live up to? These ideals reflect our values.

Here are a few examples. I believe:

• Parents should love their children.

• Executives should treat employees of all genders equally.

• Presidents should demonstrate respect for all people they represent, regardless of skin color, race, or religion.

Notice I’ve written these ideals in terms of positive behaviors. In other words, I did not say the president should NOT be a misogynistic liar for example. Though imagining what we don’t want can certainly help us more clearly define what we do want. 

Also note that shaming a person for attributes such as birth country or body type is NOT in the category of “positive shaming.” Positive shaming emanates from a core of goodness.

How can we harness the power of Positive Shaming this election season?

We can start by answering 2 questions.

What positive ideals do we uphold as vital for whomever holds the role of U.S. president?

What positive ideals do we uphold as vital for all eligible voters?

#shamecampaign2020 #theshamelady

Shame Campaign 2020

Warning - The Shame Lady is no longer avoiding politics. Why? Longstanding collective ideals are shifting - some needed to, AND some very valuable ideals are being threatened. Shame plays a huge role in any discussion of ideals.

We often think of the downside of shame - trust me - I know the pain of surviving childhood sexual abuse and the debilitating shame associated with that.

But Shame has an upside - a beautiful side - a usefulness - an adaptive function in life. Consider this question: What's one thing you would WANT someone to feel ashamed of?
What "shame-producing should" comes up for you?

My first one of the day came as I read an Associated Press article entitled "Trump admits he's blocking postal cash: Acknowledges strategy to stop mail-in votes."

Here's the shaming statement that came up for me: The president of the United States should not be purposely making it more difficult for people to vote in a presidential election.

The "shame-producing should" points to the ideal that I believe we as a nation should uphold: Our president should ENCOURAGE voter participation and should encourage the facilitation of safe access to voting.

Upholding group ideals takes a group, it takes work. Sometimes it takes shaming work.

Shame on you Mr. Trump.
#shamecampaign2020

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